Every relationship has its challenges.
Although being from different cultures has many advantages, it also brings with it many challenges. As an inter-caste couple in India there’s no doubt that you will face many challenges externally. These challenges can take a lot more to overcome at first when you are both learning about one another. The society we’re raised in shapes us from a young age, which means many already have preconceived notions about what a relationship entails. When you both come from different cultural backgrounds there can be a tendency to bring your own cultural preconceived notions about relationships with you. This can bring with it many challenges that you must overcome.
So what are the most common challenges?
Language Barriers
Language Barriers aren’t only about learning your partner’s language but understanding how your partner communicates and the context in which something is said. Communication in any relationship plays such vital role to understanding one’s wants and needs to maintain a healthy relationship
However what happens when you and your partner speak two different cultures? You both appear to be speaking a common language though each of you uses it in context relative to your own culture. This can make for some heated arguments or lead to insecurities simply because your partner doesn’t speak the same culture as you. This is when communication becomes lost in translation.
Though with that said, managing the cultural barrier can actually be more beneficial for your relationship, even if it sometimes make communication more protracted. Because of the differences you are going to ask more between cultures and in some instances even language, means you’re going to ask more questions and never take anything at face value.
By not solely relying on what one has said verbally, can bring you more in touch with one another emotionally and physically.
Remember that love can be expressed in many ways and words is just one of those ways. Try not to get caught up in what is said and learn to pick up on other cues such as body language and cultural context.
Different Expectations
One of the biggest hurdles faced internally is having different expectations. Simply because the society we’re raised in shapes us from a young age.
When you first fall in love you both think you share the same view point, until reality sets in. The reality of the daily grind can soon make you realise just how differently you view things. When these situations arise it is best to try to put yourself in your partners shoes. Try to think about the situation from their point of view and understand where they are coming from. Learning to communicate effectively and compromise is key to making any relationship last. You need to be quick to forgive the small stuff if you want to keep a happy relationship. Trying to understand why they said what they said.
You also need to pick your battles and decide if what you’re arguing over is actually worth fighting for. If it is something that is important to you and don’t compromise, try talking things over again once you both have cooled down and see if that helps put things into a clearer perspective.
It may feel that your relationship is set up to fail when you have so many differences. Yet it is these challenges that strengthen the relationship. It allows you to learn about one another and grow together as a couple.
Pressures From Society
When one or both of you come from a society that is rich in culture and tradition, it is more than likely that they will be very family oriented.
It can be difficult to overcome objections from others in addition to your own challenges within your relationship. You can either allow these external factors to tear your relationship down or bring you closer together to protect each other.
Feeling isolated
It can be easy to feel isolated at times if you feel as though your partner doesn’t always understand you. Though you will probably find that your spouse understands you better than you think. Who better to understand than the person who is also going through the same experiences as you are. These feelings can be exacerbated if you hold onto bad feelings after disagreements and don’t learn to forgive your partner.
When you both come from different cultures it can be easy to feel alone when you both practice different faiths and have different traditions/rituals. It may feel at times that you just don’t have anything in common. That is why it is important to incorporate one another into your traditions so that you may start to build and modify customs together.
However it isn’t only cultural barriers that can make you feel isolated at times. Some inter-caste couples receive criticism from their family and strangers which can make them feel isolate from society. As a couple you need to have a family that is supportive of your relationship and of your partner’s beliefs and values.
Cultural Barriers
Before you married your partner you had all your customs and traditions in place that you celebrated with your friends and family, but for inter-caste couples there is much more to navigate.
You now might have to incorporate Durga Pujo with garba nights and a million other festivals that your partner celebrates. It could be easy to simply celebrate these traditions separately as you once did. Though it is important to incorporate each other into your culture if you want to have a successful relationship.
Given the society we are raised in shapes us from a young age, your partner will be bound to have many cultural traits. Therefore it is important to be able to communicate with one another about what you are willing to tolerate and what isn’t acceptable.
It’s expected that not everyone will face the same challenges in their relationship.
Choose to communicate.
Choose to stay.
When you communicate transparently — you win.
Love,
MK ❤